Deployment Day 135: It has been awhile...

One hundred and thirty five days ago I told myself I was going to be intentional and blog every day of this deployment. Well, it has been 6 days since my last post and I could beat myself up about it or I could tell you why I was unable to do what I set out to do or I could just move on. I must confess that I did beat myself up about not blogging every day and missing a day or two before I finally allowed myself the much needed break and release from my commitment. I know all of you reading who know me well know how stubborn I am and how I am not a quitter. I push myself hard and have a very high standard for myself but one that I never project on others. So allowing myself to just stop blogging after saying I was going to every day was not easy. Perhaps many of you reading this are thinking that I was crazy in the first place to make such a commitment. Well, perhaps you are right...maybe I should not have said it out loud!

Maybe I should have thought about how mentally draining this deployment could be and how mentally draining it is to be three classes from receiving my Bachelors degree and how homeschooling four children and serving on the board for the Protestant Women of the Chapel and taking a lead position on the praise team and becoming the Lead Volunteer Coordinator for the Home School Association for Military Families and being a swim team mom and a music teacher to my children and cooking healthy meals and keeping my house clean. Perhaps all these have challenged my ability to blog my thoughts, my experiences, and the aching of my heart during this deployment. However, I plan to return to blogging daily once again. My original focus of this blog is Michael and my focus remains the same. I know he has missed the daily blog but has not said anything because he would never want me to feel pressured to blog. However, I want to blog for him. I want him to know how much we all miss him and how different our daily lives are without him and his presence.

So, all that to encourage you to give yourself grace because I am learning to give myself grace. Tomorrow is a new day!

~ Angela

P.S. I have missed sharing my heart with all of you!