Deployment Day 59: He Carries Me Every Day...All the Way!

Carry Me To the Cross by Kutless

When the path is daunting
And every step exhausting
I'm not alone
I'm not alone, no, no
I feel you draw me closer
All these burdens on my shoulder
I'm not alone, I'm not alone
You pull me me from this place


Hallelujah
You carry me every day
You carry me all all the way
Hallelujah
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross

Once again driving in the car listening to music and the words of a song speak directly to my heart! I needed this reminder that I am not alone, I'm not alone! He carries me every day...all the way! 

If you know me you know how much I cherish music. I am not picky when it comes to music. I like so many genres of music. God has used music to bring about some deep healing in my life. Music has been a source of comfort this deployment. I have wrestled with sleep and loneliness so much this deployment and today was no exception. In the midst of so much beauty I feel alone. Intellectually I know I am not alone but I have this deep longing. I have faith in God. I trust Him. I depend on Him. I desire Him. I rely on His word and meditate upon the truth found in His word. I believe what
Psalm 4:8 says...I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone O Lord make me dwell in safety.
Then why am I still here. Why am I still in this place of longing? Why do I still struggle with sleep?

Tonight I read the first two chapters of Genesis to my children. The very last verse I read said,
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 This is why I am still in this place of longing because I feel like I have been ripped apart. I keep going to the word and addressing my faith. I keep reminding myself of the truth that I cling to and trust in yet I still feel a deep longing. I questioned whether I am looking to Michael to fill something that only God can fill and I keep coming back to the answer that I am looking for Michael to be exactly where God placed him...with me. On the eve of two months into this deployment I felt God say that it is right for you to feel this way. And like the song says... 
"When the path is daunting, And every step exhausting, I'm not alone. You carry me every day you carry me all the way."  

He lifts me up!
~Angela




Breaking News:
Noelle got her ears pierced today! This was her idea. She started telling me how the clip on earrings she has make her ears tired. She said she wanted to get her ears pierced. Today was a special day and she was very brave. Our little girl is growing up!